Mascara

Useless fact about me --

You will NEVER EVER see me without mascara! Very rarely has my husband seen me without mascara. I made my children promise that when I am old, and in a nursing home, they will come everyday and put mascara on me.

Secrets

Did you ever wonder what exactly a secret is? Is
it something you only tell selective few, tell everyone
you know except for the person it's about, or do you
keep it for life never letting a soul hear it?

What is it with women and secrets? How many times
have you sat there and someone has said "You will
never believe what so and so told me" and in the same
breath say "It's a secret so don't share it with anyone"

Is a secret still a secret if you just share it with one
person at a time?

Do we as adults actually think our secret is safe
with anyone?

I recently had lunch with a friend and she uttered those
words "Do you know about so and so?" "It's a secret so
don't let them know you know"

Are you a guilty secret keeper? I know I have been. I
have blabbed secrets. I think there are 2 kinds
of secrets though. Those that you hear as gossip
and those that your best friend in the world trusts you with.

I am pretty proud that my friends can always trust me
to keep their secrets. I sure hope they do the same for me.

Lady Fingers

I was talking to some friends recently about the
embarrassing things kids say and do. I had
a flashback to when my sister and I were younger
and just had to share.
**********************************************

My Mom was visiting with a friend one day. I was 7
and my sister was 2. We went outside to play because
we were bored with adult talk.

We were playing in the apartment complex and on the
ground near the dumpster we spotted "Lady Fingers".
They were beautiful pink plastic lady fingers. Being
little girls, we instantly ran to them. They were all
over the ground.

Why would any one throw away such a thing?

We quickly put them on all our fingers. They fit and
they were so fancy. We walked around clicking them
together, making noise and thinking we were sophisticated.

My sister and I were so proud of them that we soon ran
in to show my Mom. Mom SCREAMED at the top of her
lungs for us to remove the Pink Lady Fingers at once.
We were horrified to think she didn't like them. Mom
wouldn't tell us why we had to take them off. She just
kept screaming OH MY GOD, OH MY GOD!

Mom took us straight to the sink and scrubbed our
hands with Comet and an orange Chore Boy pad.

As I grew up and became a woman, I realized what the
long pink plastic tubes were.... GAG!

HALF TIME

BRING BACK THE HALF TIME SHOW!!

This is a Mommy gripe so you are warned.

My son is a Freshman in highschool. He works his
butt off. He is in honors classes and 3 bands -
Marching, Concert and Jazz. He is a good kid.
He doesn't get in trouble and he is a gentleman.
He had been really committed to this marching band
and it's really wiping him out. He has to be on the
practice field EVERY school day at 5:50am.
He stays after school 2 times a week for practice also.

Last night they had a home game. I couldn't attend
because it was a school night and I have 3 other kids
at home.

Imagine my surprise when I found the game LIVE on
the local cable channel. I found the game at 3 minutes
left in the second. I was so thrilled because that means
it is close to half time. Those 3 minutes lasted 25. Don't
get me started on football, because I am NOT a fan.

I tried to call everyone I knew to let them know that my
son would be on T.V. I was a proud Mommy.

Half time arrives...............

Three commercials come on.. Ok, so they are waiting
for the band to set up on the field.

A 5 minute history on the school comes on.
Interesting but not what I was waiting for.

Next shot was to the field. There they are, the band in
their full uniforms standing in position. This is it, I get
to see my son.

Next shot -- FIRST HALF FOOTBALL HIGHLIGHTS!

WHAT!

What about the 200 kids on the field that play an
instrument? Don't they get the same respect as the
ball players? They work equally hard.

Needless to say, I was pissed.

Got a Job

I searched for a job all summer, maybe not too
hard, but I tried. Not only did I get a job, I got 2.

I applied for a morning nanny job back in April.
The job was not supposed to start until the end of
July, but was postponed for several weeks. That's
when I started looking for another job, just in case.
It just so happens I started both this week.

I actually started a night/weekend job that is part
time, 20 hours or so a week. It is at a sporting goods
store. I have to laugh because I know NOTHING about
sporting goods. I know what shoes and balls are but
that's about it.

I am a cashier. That's the extent of my experience.
We don't have advanced registers. EVERYTHING
and I mean everything is inputted by hand.
Everything has a number and you have
to 10-key that code number in for every product they
purchase. Have these people never seen a scanner bar
code? The job is pretty simple and I am sure any
monkey could do it. It's just so old fashion!

I worked my first night on Tuesday. They had me
on a short shift 5-10pm. Nothing to it really. I have
worked longer hours than this in my working years.
I came home that night and just about died. My feet
were so sore that I wanted to just cut them off. I feel
like such a pansy. I will never make it if my feet feel
like this every night that I come home.

Please tell me it gets better...

My Niece

My younger sister blessed me, 4 years ago, making me
an Aunt for the first time.

Once again, I get the chance to be an Auntie
to two. She just found out that it is a GIRL!
Sugar and spice and everything nice...

Clothes Pins

I was out and about not too long ago and realized I
needed some things for the house. I stopped at the
local Walmart since it was on my way home. It was
terribly busy and I really had to question how bad
did we need to use toilet paper for the day and if
paper napkins would flush OK. So, I walked into
Walmart. I figured since I was there and braving
the crowed I would get everything I needed.

My first aisle was haircare products. I noticed a little
girl behind me, but didn't think much of it at the time.
Next aisle, soap. Same little girl behind me.
I looked around but didn't see a Mom.
Could she be following me?

The next aisle she was still right behind me. I turned
and told her "Maybe you better find your Mommy" She
returned with something in Spanish. It's been 20 years
since Freshman Spanish, I don't have a clue what she said.

Finally she left, running away when she saw her
brother. Maybe she was lost?

I will never really know. I did a lot of shopping that day.
I looked at stuff and probably spent a good hour
shopping and standing in line to pay.

I left Walmart and went to the grocery store for some
Milk. A handsome young man start approaching me.
I thought he was smitten with my looks and flashed him
my smile and big blue eyes. He approached me and said

"Ma'am"

Okay now I feel old being called a Ma'am.

"You seem to have several CLOTHES PINS
clipped to the back of your shirt"

What?

Did this man just say CLOTHES PINS? This must
be some kind of practical joke. Am I on Candid Camera?
(I ask..in my mind)
I reach behind me and sure enough I feel

1,2,3, 4....FIVE WOODEN CLOTHES PINS ON MY SHIRT!

Now I know what the little Hispanic girl was doing in Walmart.